Through all of the emotional, sexually, and  mental abuse there was one thing I had to learn through my healing, Forgiveness.  I remember thinking forgiveness meant accepting others poor choices of hurting me.  I felt like I could not have any boundaries for myself.  Thank God for teaching me differently.  I forgave all that caused pain in such a traumatic way.  We will always walk in forgiveness.  I heard something today that I wanted to share with you.  It’s a new way to think about forgiveness.

Forgiveness … is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it”  (Mark Twain) 

Wow!!!  Can you smell the fragrance!

Who’s Listening

What happens when you’ve been silent for so long and you finally open up and share your heart and speak out?

When you take that deep breath and look around to see who’s looking at you as you speak out. You wonder, what are they thinking of me right now? Do they feel sorry for me or do they see me as being brave?

Who’s really listening to your words and allowing the words from your heart to have a impact on their hearts?

Who’s paying attention to the pain behind the words? Have we become so dehumanized that we don’t care about each other.

Are we clearly about winning the game or having the title that we are willing to cheat, steal, kill, lie, etc… all that we we’re commandant not to do in order to achieve our goals?

Let’s win people for Christ is what I hear but at what price? Jesus gave his life. We will cross each other to be visible when God asked us to be vessels.

We are imperfect people in and out of church. God is teaching me how we the people are the church. Not a building, but we the people. We are to study, listen, and meditate on God’s word and share his goodness. I’m challenging myself as I write this to be better. I’m learning to be on purpose, for the purpose.

I’m an advocate, activist, motivational, and informational speaker for women who are or have been sexually exploited.

I speak out and share my story and I still wonder who’s listening? We pray for God’s restoration in the lives of young men and women, but here I stand and I wonder who’s listening. It seems that because my bruises aren’t seen on the outside anymore, that the bruises on the inside don’t matter. I know a few of you are listening, but I’m speaking to those of you who haven’t paid much attention. God has blessed me with some amazing people that has made a great difference in my life and I’m forever grateful. I understand “Be the change you want to see in the world”. It takes serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Leading Others

One bright light can lead others out of darkness. How are you leading? God used many in the bible to lead. Noah had to lead those to the Ark, Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Esther broke through the cultural norms, she step out and risk her life to help God’s people. There are so many more in the bible I could go on and on but I think you get what I’m saying. Those that I have mention, did not lead with out being afraid or even wondering if God had it right, by calling them to take on such a large task for Him. I’m sure that’s how many of us feel, well I know I do. I’m happy all God really want us to do is trust Him. He will show us how to lead. Ask God to show you how to be the light to lead others out of darkness.

God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.


Good Morning All,

I’m on my way to camp this week but before I left I would like to leave you with a thought. Who Are You Drinking Coffee With? Whom ever you spend your time with, you become. Choose your coffee mate wisely.Expect greatness from God!!!

Have a Blessed Week.

The Jezebel In You

As many of you know by now I have a long history of sexual/abuse. More than 10 years actually. During what I thought was part of my healing process, I had a counseling meeting with a man and woman of God. I remember during our conversion I was asked if I felt like Jezebel.

Now, I grew up in a Muslim household, so I didn’t know who Jezebel was. I really didn’t know how to answer him. Some time went by, and I learn just who Jezebel was. I was broken. The 10 steps I took forward to recovery ended up taking 10 steps back. I felt unworthy, very hopeless and it was stuck in my brain that I had done something wrong.

Let me give you some history on Jezebel. Jezebel was a daughter of high priest and he eventually became a King. She was the most evil woman in the bible. The bible uses her name as a example of people who completely reject God(Rev 2:20-21). Jezebel married the King of Israel Ahab, therefore she became Queen.
They worship Baal(it means-master or owner) the most popular Canaanite God. Baal idols where often made in the shape of a bull, representing strength and fetility and reflecting lust for power and sexual pleasure.

Sister’s let me say there’s no way we are Jezebels. We don’t worship Baal and we aren’t evil women. I decided I would take what was meant for evil and use it for good. Let’s talk about the Jezebel in you……

J- Joy Psalms 16:9

E- Enthusiast

Z- Zealous Romans 12:11-12

E- Empowered

B- Blessed Psalms 29:11 Beauty Isaiah 61:3

E- Eternal Life John 3:16, Proverbs 8:23

L- Love Psalms 31:7-8

I can only pray this will be of some encouragement to you. The attacks that where made are now to our advantage…..